One Year Ago

The 18th of September, 2010 was a day that I will never forget and that has changed my life forever! As we are celebrating the first birthday of a special little boy I cannot help but think back over that day and it went a little something like this...

I fell asleep at about 12:30am, woke up at about 1:45am with these strong cramp like pains. Not sure if it was the real thing I laid in bed very uncomfortably. By 2:15am they were strong enough to wake up Dan and I told him that I thought it was happening. To help the time pass I went into the living room and put in the movie that brings me much joy- "You've Got Mail". By 3:00am I decided to wake up my mom and call the doctor. He told me to stay home for a couple more hours. At this point I remember just dreading the contractions coming. I was able to breathe through them, but they were only like 3 minutes apart, so I didn't get much of a break. I also vomited, I'll spare you the details, but lets just say it wasn't the only time that day. We headed for the hospital around 5:30am, it was cold outside which made me tense, which didn't help. So heat blaring in the car I sent a text to our families letting them know what was happening. It was so unreal, I was afraid a little, but more just ready for the pain to be gone. :) I didn't even really understand what it meant though I said "we are going to have a son soon".

Once we got to the hospital I signed a million papers that I couldn't tell you what they were for. I did the birthing ball and things like that which I think were more helpful in just keeping me occupied. Dan and I were able to have some special moments together and with God before I was totally out of it with the pain. lol. I progressed fairly quickly and the contractions were becoming unbearable. I pretty much didn't say a word and kept my eyes shut most of the time just waaaaaiting for the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural.

Once I got the epidural I had about 10 minutes where I felt great and I was talking away! Then because of Aiden being so low the pressure that I experienced was terrible!! Back to the silence, eyes closed and breathing. Dan and my mom were so great, Dan just sat next to me the whole time holding my hand as I just laid there. It's so interesting because even though I was so excited to have our son, what I was thinking about was just getting through and doing what I needed to do. And I felt like I could do it, I knew I was going to and that was it. The doctor and nurses were also amazing, which is a huge blessing because I can't imagine going through that with difficult medical staff. I will also spare you the details of the rest of it, but around 30 minutes of pushing at 12:10pm our son was born!

I remember instantly holding him and thinking how small he was and all I wanted to do was look him all over. My heart (and eyes) welled up with so much awe and love. During these tender moments he then took a huge poop on me, but I didn't care at all- which is a big deal for me. haha. And I just loved it as Dan held him and talked about how awesome he was and that we had to take turns holding him because we both wanted him!

The rest of the day was filled with so many emotions. I got excited about little things like drinking vanilla coke and having as much orange juice and chocolate milk as I wanted. Even though I was exhausted I couldn't really rest because I was so pumped. I definitely HAD to read like all of this book they gave me about caring for a baby, because all of a sudden all I knew from years of watching other people's babies meant nothing and I had so many questions. That day I also got to talk to each one of my sisters and tell them all about it, which was really special! And through all the texts and Facebook notes people left us, we felt really encouraged! I also am so thankful that my mom was able to be there for the delivery and week after, that meant a lot to me and Dan.

For the past year I have spent everyday caring for my son, Aiden Michael White, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The days have been filled with discouragement, tears, exhaustion and frustration for sure, but also so much love, joy, happiness, laughter, thankfulness and blessings.

Aiden truly is a gift from God, I am so aware of that. Everyday God gives us together is a gift from Him and I couldn't be more thankful for the past 365 days. By the grace of God we will keep going, being the best parents we can be for Aiden and enjoying the everyday!

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY AIDEN!!

Thanks for reading this long post. :)