Fall Moments

I think we could all agree that life is busy. It rings true of my life every.single.day. I am constantly reminding myself of what my priorities need to be and what is really important in this life. I am desperately trying to come to a balance in my life that can be sustained, I do not want to look back and realized I missed what was important because I was too busy. To name all the great times we had this fall would take forever, we have been blessed week by week through friendships, each other, growing in Christ and so much more. That being said, here are some of my favorite moments that I photographed.  

     1. Aiden's Birthday.    

    2. Beautiful warm fall weather!

   3. Hot chocolate together with Aiden. He loves-loves-loves it of course!

    

    3. Gavin crawling- complete with all the joys and extra awareness that comes with it!

    4. My family coming for visits and looking forward to more family visiting in the next month!

    5. Some self portraits taken by none other than my son, Aiden. He LOVED to push the button and
    would say "look I did it mom" when he saw the picture on the screen.

I hope you enjoyed your fall. Now it's time to gear up for Winter - yikes!

Mommy Wars :: Who Am I?

Lately I've been growing and understanding more about motherhood and what it means to me, so these ideas are a couple of posts in the making but today I want to quickly mention the "mommy wars". Maybe it's me, but I feel like it's everywhere or more likely the ideas of not falling into the traps of the "mommy wars". I follow a few Mom blogs and may receive anywhere from 1-3 emails a day concerning motherhood. Many times those emails have been just what I needed that day, but lately I feel like "ahhh, I do not want to read anything else about motherhood". lol. 

Many of the articles I read try to encourage us not to fall into the lies of comparing or trying to be it all. And that's where I want to start today. One article pointed out how we try to be different people, we see "fashionable mom" in the store and try to be more like her for a week, then we see "organic mom" so we try to be like her, then "fit mom", "crafty mom", "awesome-cook mom"...etc. And we end up just discouraged because we try to be all 10 different types of people at the same time. It just doesn't work. 

My problem probably comes from myself, that I set expectations on myself that nobody else does based on all these ideas that swirl around in my head. 

I know this of course doesn't apply to just moms, but people in general and I think it stems from an insecurity of who we are. Not finding our identity in Jesus, His love & who HE made us to be. And then as a result being that person to the best of our ability and using our gifts to serve God and love our husbands, children and others.

So, I decided to share with you some of WHO I AM (I'm going to focus more on the areas of the home since that's where I am 90% of my life):

• I am thankful I get to be a stay-at-home-mom and do not take it for granted.
• I would love for my house to look like something out of Pottery Barn (wouldn't we all)! Decorating is somewhat of a challenge for my non-abstract mind and non-crafty self, but I love a finished product I am happy with.
• I love a clean and picked up house.
• I love eating good food, but I do not like spending an hour cooking, eating for 10 min and then 30 minutes cleaning up- not worth it. So I prefer to stick to simple but tasty dinners.
• I try at least one new recipe every week, sometimes more. Which is sometimes to Dan and I's regret. lol. But I can't help myself, the pictures always look so yummy!
• I am not a health-nut, but I do provide balanced meals for my family.
• I bake a lot!
• I am a hard worker. Something I got from my mom and I am very thankful for! Thank you mom!
• I am passionate about photography!! Obviously! That is my main interest after all the other things being a mom includes. I love the way I feel after I capture an image that is beautiful. It is an art form and it pumps up my creative juices.
• I am a believer in Babywise and schedules for infants.
• I think my day-to-day life would be easier if I actually followed the routine I have for me and the kids. Next month. :) 
• My kids go to bed around 8:15 or earlier. 
• When things get hard, my tendency is to give up.
• I love sweets way more than is good for me. :)
• My concern for my general appearance, clothes & exercise has diminished as I've had kids because who has the time and money for that. lol.
• I can be very task-orientated and selfish in my heart. (which is it's own post coming soon)
• I make some of my own baby food to save money; not because I think store food is bad.
• I can almost 100% guarantee I will never have a garden in my lifetime although I would love the result of one. haha.
• I never care to learn to sew, but I appreciate immensely the people in my life who do & have used their gift to be a blessing to me!
• I am not a good sleeper.
• I love going through boxes, re-organizing and am very good at throwing things out!! 
• I feel like I am the queen of "special things" haha. Ask Dan, he'll tell you it's true. Every time we go out or do something fun I always want to add it to it by getting a "special drink", "special toy", "special outfit" or "special treat"...etc. It's a good thing I don't or we would have no money and our kids would be spoiled rotten. 
• Dates are very important to me, like birthdays, holidays...etc. Even we celebrate on a different day, the day itself needs to be something special!
• Both of my kids have a special song I sing to them before they go to sleep.
• My perfect weather is sunny and 70 degrees.
• I am entirely thankful for all the amazing friends and family God has put in my life! They keep me sane and help me not get lost in my own world.

Obviously this it not extensive and doesn't touch all my sin problems. We all have sin that we must deal with, and that is where Jesus is the answer! So thankful for Jesus dying on the cross and taking the punishment for me so that I can have forgiveness and right standing with God.

My loves :)

God made me and God made you!! I would encourage you to sit down and write out who you are! Let's celebrate in who God has made us to be.

Dependent

As a mom I am regularly faced with fear about my children. For me it normally comes in the form of losing one of them or something happening to either Dan or I. This fear will attack at random times but also when I am going to be away from them for a period of time. All logic seems to be thrown out the window when my mind is attacked with this fear. 

Thankfully I am not alone and have a God who loves my boys more than I do and who is good. There are some areas of life where we feel we have some control over and there are other areas where we are brought to the realization that we don't have the control. This is one of those areas. I cannot promise or ensure the safety of my children. Now obviously I make decisions that promote their well being and not be stupid, but when it comes down to it our lives are in God's hands. 

Now even this realization doesn't make it easy to let go of the fear and even though I am writing this it still has a small hold on my heart. 1 Peter 5.7 says "Cast all your anxieties on him, for He cares for you". I can't imagine dealing with this fear without God, I would be a wreck because there would be no one to hold it for me. I can cast, get rid of, my fears to God and He wants to take them. He WANTS me to be dependent on Him, trust Him and be at peace. 

I read John Piper's devo app regularly and I opened it today hoping it would be something about fear and it was! It was different than I would have expected, but I think that was better. One thing that stood out to me was "God will gladly receive anything from us that shows our dependence and His all-sufficiency". 

I feel like this fear might be a regular theme in my life, I will always want to protect my kids from all hurt. But there is SOMEONE who wants to carry that burden for me, who holds the world in His hands and who loves us all very much. He is my Savior, my Rock, my Redeemer. And because of Jesus taking my sin on me I have that relationship with the God of the Universe and He makes all this possible. 

God is good, God is good, God is good. 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

I am so thankful to be celebrating my second mother's day thanks to God for making me a mom to this little boy!! It still seems unreal to me sometimes, and I don't take for granted the fact that God has blessed me in this way. I occasionally feel overwhelmed at the responsibility of raising a child, but there is nothing I would rather do!

Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing moms out there! Especially to my incredible mom! :)

Discipline Lessons

As a mom I have amazing days or moments when I see that Aiden seems to be retaining what I am teaching him. When he obeys the first time or does something on his own like putting a toy away in the right spot. And that is so very exciting to see!! But then there are also the moments where I am telling him the same thing over and over, and I feel like nothing is sinking in to that little head. That can become very frustrating to me and it's easy for me to burst out my discipline out of frustration or annoyance. Thinking to myself "Why do I have to tell him no again?" "Why can't he just get it?" It is very ineffective, and I just am left annoyed. But, I am learning that when I take the time to go where he is, get on his level and talk to him in a calm but firm voice I am in a much better place to discipline. It's no longer about the inconvenience of discipline and more about teaching Aiden and helping him grow. It's not always easy, but I think it will help both Aiden and myself!

One Year Ago

The 18th of September, 2010 was a day that I will never forget and that has changed my life forever! As we are celebrating the first birthday of a special little boy I cannot help but think back over that day and it went a little something like this...

I fell asleep at about 12:30am, woke up at about 1:45am with these strong cramp like pains. Not sure if it was the real thing I laid in bed very uncomfortably. By 2:15am they were strong enough to wake up Dan and I told him that I thought it was happening. To help the time pass I went into the living room and put in the movie that brings me much joy- "You've Got Mail". By 3:00am I decided to wake up my mom and call the doctor. He told me to stay home for a couple more hours. At this point I remember just dreading the contractions coming. I was able to breathe through them, but they were only like 3 minutes apart, so I didn't get much of a break. I also vomited, I'll spare you the details, but lets just say it wasn't the only time that day. We headed for the hospital around 5:30am, it was cold outside which made me tense, which didn't help. So heat blaring in the car I sent a text to our families letting them know what was happening. It was so unreal, I was afraid a little, but more just ready for the pain to be gone. :) I didn't even really understand what it meant though I said "we are going to have a son soon".

Once we got to the hospital I signed a million papers that I couldn't tell you what they were for. I did the birthing ball and things like that which I think were more helpful in just keeping me occupied. Dan and I were able to have some special moments together and with God before I was totally out of it with the pain. lol. I progressed fairly quickly and the contractions were becoming unbearable. I pretty much didn't say a word and kept my eyes shut most of the time just waaaaaiting for the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural.

Once I got the epidural I had about 10 minutes where I felt great and I was talking away! Then because of Aiden being so low the pressure that I experienced was terrible!! Back to the silence, eyes closed and breathing. Dan and my mom were so great, Dan just sat next to me the whole time holding my hand as I just laid there. It's so interesting because even though I was so excited to have our son, what I was thinking about was just getting through and doing what I needed to do. And I felt like I could do it, I knew I was going to and that was it. The doctor and nurses were also amazing, which is a huge blessing because I can't imagine going through that with difficult medical staff. I will also spare you the details of the rest of it, but around 30 minutes of pushing at 12:10pm our son was born!

I remember instantly holding him and thinking how small he was and all I wanted to do was look him all over. My heart (and eyes) welled up with so much awe and love. During these tender moments he then took a huge poop on me, but I didn't care at all- which is a big deal for me. haha. And I just loved it as Dan held him and talked about how awesome he was and that we had to take turns holding him because we both wanted him!

The rest of the day was filled with so many emotions. I got excited about little things like drinking vanilla coke and having as much orange juice and chocolate milk as I wanted. Even though I was exhausted I couldn't really rest because I was so pumped. I definitely HAD to read like all of this book they gave me about caring for a baby, because all of a sudden all I knew from years of watching other people's babies meant nothing and I had so many questions. That day I also got to talk to each one of my sisters and tell them all about it, which was really special! And through all the texts and Facebook notes people left us, we felt really encouraged! I also am so thankful that my mom was able to be there for the delivery and week after, that meant a lot to me and Dan.

For the past year I have spent everyday caring for my son, Aiden Michael White, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The days have been filled with discouragement, tears, exhaustion and frustration for sure, but also so much love, joy, happiness, laughter, thankfulness and blessings.

Aiden truly is a gift from God, I am so aware of that. Everyday God gives us together is a gift from Him and I couldn't be more thankful for the past 365 days. By the grace of God we will keep going, being the best parents we can be for Aiden and enjoying the everyday!

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY AIDEN!!

Thanks for reading this long post. :)

Special Moments

If anyone knows Dan you know that he loves to read. :) Over the past few weeks Aiden has loved looking at books! It is probably the one thing that can keep him occupied on his own for the longest. He will just turn the pages over & over again and it is so fun to watch. Sometimes he will even talk while he is looking at the book. I couldn't resist but capture this moment, and who knows- maybe Aiden will have a love for reading just like his father.

The Many Faces of Aiden

I can't help but laugh when I look through my pictures at all the different faces of Aiden. Here are just a few from July & August. :)

Boys Will Be Boys

I recently have started watching a little girl (two months older than Aiden) one day a week. I have only done it once so far, but during that first day I learned so much about my little guy. First of all let me say that it was so much fun watching them together! Aiden loved her! He is bigger than she is and he would follow her around the house and of course want to play with what she had. But the big thing was that I saw how much Aiden is a boy. Since he is my only child so far and all I really know, I thought it was completely normal for babies to never want to sit still, only be content with a toy for about a minute and want to destroy everything! haha. Well, I am here to tell you that it is not so. LOL. This little girl was calm and sweet, she had no problem sitting on my lap for a while and she would just put herself in a Bumbo and just sit there, perfectly content. Overall I would characterize the difference of the children as having different levels of intensity, Aiden's being the higher. :) I know better than to think that having a girl is perfect or something, but nevertheless, I loved watching them and seeing differences. I also think my little man may be tougher than I first thought. I am excited to see how my little active boy grows into the person God has made him to be!

9 Month Experiences

Woah it's been almost a month since my last post. Obviously things have been crazy and I haven't made time to formulate any thoughts. :)

In the beginning of June Aiden began to crawl! This was exciting of course and in we go to a new stage. Gone are the days of being able to take my eyes off him for a SECOND! No, it's not that bad, but if I leave the room I am always am listening for what he is getting into, but generally speaking he is not too far behind me. Not only is he crawling, but will use anything he can to pull himself up, he is wanting to walk! He is also into EVERYTHING, putting it all in his mouth, exploring and figuring things out. :)

So in comes the discipline. His favorite "not allowed" things to do are play with the entertainment center, chew on shoes and eat the rug padding. So, needless to say I cannot count how many times I say "no" throughout the day. I find myself being more tired at the end of the day than I used to be and worn out from doing the same thing over and over.

But I have been learning some things along the way. Like even though it's easier to let him play and chew on everything he isn't supposed to, it's not better for him in the long run. It's really more of a laziness on my part that I just want things to be easy. Well news flash Robyn, life isn't that way, especially with children. I try to keep in focus that this won't last forever and so even though it can be frustrating I don't want to loose sight of enjoying him completely so I don't have regrets. Sometimes it's easier for me to focus on the negatives in life that I miss the joys and you can't do that with children or I feel you can miss everything. That being said, he continues to be a very fun and sweet little boy who brings us so much joy!

Here are some pictures of my cute troublemaker!

On to Baby Wipes!

I have been making Aiden's baby wipes since about week two and have loved it! Once again...saving money!! And I know what exactly the ingredients are and they smell better than the store bought ones!

As with other things there are SO many homemade wipes recipes, so you may just have to look around to find one you like. I chose this one because it's easy and uses ingredients I will always need to have! I haven't had any trouble with the wipes molding or anything like that. Once I added lotion and that didn't really work. So I've stuck to this....

Ingredients:

-Baby Soap
-Baby Oil
-Bounty Paper Towels (I use the "pick-a-size with no print)
-Water

Step 1: Bring 2 cups (I usually do a little less than two, seems to work better) of water to a boil. Turn off stove and let cool to room temperature.
Step 2: Cut roll of paper towel into half. And remove the cardboard center.
Step 3: Mix 1 tbsp baby oil and 2 tbsp baby wash with the cooled water in whatever container you are using.
Step 4: Place the paper towels in container with the cut side facing down.
Step 5: Turn the container upside-down and sit for 10 minutes.
Step 6: Open container and start the the roll by pulling a towel from the inside of the roll.

As far as the cost goes. One roll of Bounty Paper Towels is $1.99, which is of course two batches. Baby soap and oil depends on the ones you buy. I use the Johnson's Head-to-Toe Baby Wash for Aiden's bath so I just use that for his wipes. Baby Oil lasts forever. I have not had to buy any since Aiden was born and am not even halfway through it.

How fast do the wipes go? It all depends on how many you need to use, which of course changes as your baby grows. Now that Aiden is older I probably use one batch per two weeks. So that is one roll ($1.99) per month.

Now I have found what I believe is the perfect container for these wipes. It fits a half-roll perfectly (you have to smash when you first get them in for it to seal), it has a top you can open/close with one hand and it hasn't given me any trouble!! It is from Target, click here to see it online. It's around $7.

Always Changing

The past couple weeks I feel like Aiden has changed and grown so much! It has been really fun to experience each new thing with him. Here are some of the highlights:

He has found some new facial expressions including scrunching up his face and
kind of blowing through his nose, which makes me laugh every time!


If I stick my tongue out he will start to play with his tongue. And he loves when people click their tongue and has tried to do that, being successful maybe twice. He also is exploring new sounds saying things such as "ma-ma", "da-da" and "na-na". Although he does not realize what ma-ma and da-da mean yet we get very excited when he says them. LOL. My mom discovered that he will do "ha-ha" changing tones and will sometimes do it after us.

BUT, the biggest and most surprising new thing is that Aiden is now an all-time tummy sleeper. This just blows my mind, because he mostly disliked being on his tummy for so long. But over a few days of playing with his crib bumper he learned how to roll from his back to his tummy and fell asleep. At first I would flip him back to his back, but after constantly finding him back on his tummy I surrendered and now put him to bed that way.

Over all I just feel like he is starting to understand so much more and have opinions about what he wants or doesn't want. This makes life more interesting, but definitely fun! He continues to be such a joy to my heart and in light of Mother's Day yesterday I am so thankful to God for blessing me with the honor of being a mom to such a wonderful little boy!